i love Play School!

well, i cannot live a life like this, i cannot submerse myself in toys stories forever.
i really need to face my adulthood which means I have to face job interviews and a long term career. ( this might sound a bit contradict what I mentioned I felt "old" last time. Guess it is because there is a huge interregnum between my childhood and the current retirement state.)

Most of the people knows that I am bad with words. I just CAN'T express well, it gets worse when I speek Englesh. You should be well prepared not to faint when i'm uttering those truncated sentences and mis-pronunced words. thank God, I'd already improve a bit and tend to be more talkative - which also means I care less if you faint.

Speech - it is still my greatest fear when I try to sell myself on the job market. I think it was the main reason why I chose computing as my career path because I don't need to talk to human! After 4 years self-realization, I found I am not good at mastering any languages( java, guava, whateva)... so what should I do in the future?
Are there any jobs don't require verbal communication? And think it over again, how can I do God's ministry if I cannot overcome this difficulty? God has spoken to us by His words, we can only share the gospel by telling others. All in the package of People ministry - meeting with people and relate to them and communicate with them. Why do I find it so hard?