Today is grandpa's birthday. Two days after mid-autumn each year according to chinese lunar calender. Uncle left Tokyo and back home tonight. This is the first time he went back since 1997 since i was still in shanghai. I rang mom in the morning, she wasnt at home. She went to the hospital and prescribed medicine for me. I have already overdosed too many known/unknown tablets that she sent me, but if she likes doing so.. I will keep taking. And she and grandpa went to postoffice to post a parcel containing those tablets and lots of clothes and shoes. Then i called her again during dinner time. Coz i knew she was expecting my call. She needs to go the tutoring school tomorrow so she can't meet uncle tomorrow. She suddenly got very frustrated and cut the phone. 10 mins later, when i called her back, she said she went back from downstairs twice to check if the phone rings. I dont know how to describe my feeling. What i did in last 10 mins was: swallow 6 tablets and waiting for next stomachache...........
my life is miserable at the moment.


why you've repeated that passage? You want to test if i can hold my tears this time or not? Why you have always pose as i do?

well.. the pain comes .. i am dying again