forever and forever.

crow.JPG
Dan, you are wonderful painter (v 7).

Reasons that I hide my identity on the net:
(Note: a fixed nickname is differ from hiding identity.)
1) Nicknames are fun, can change it whenever I want.
2) Real name represents my outer shell. When I take off that shell, I don't want others to hurt me or being hurt.
3) Don't want others recognize me - simple.

For people has interest in reading public blog and forum, they don't care who you are, they get what they want and go. At that time, your name is just an invariant.

4) So like the Parable of the Sower,"they may indeed see but not perceive, and may indeed hear but not understand".
5) Sometimes just NO need to let others know who I am.
6) Could be lacking confidence or avoiding responsibility.

It is really dangerous to talk on a mobile phone while driving, but most people doesn't realise it or care about it. As long as it is legal in Australia. I saw a lady killed a bicycle boy because of typing sms message when she was on the road. A lapse in concentration while driving can kill. My old mobile has "auto answering in the car" function. The person on the other end may not know what situation you are in, so please do not answer or just tell them. Involving in a car accident will take much longer time than calling back afterwards...
Just a reminder...b'coz ust had a 5 mins conversation with someone who was driving....

One moment, you're defeated

你躲在画室里， 不敢出来。却又画不好画， 心烦呀。手上的黑色抹得到处都是，音乐听来也心烦， 把纸上的人眼圈涂呀涂。。。。。 浓浓地淹没了眼白。

James 1:12Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him. 13Let no one say when he is tempted, "I am being tempted by God," for God cannot be tempted with evil, and he himself tempts no one. 14But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. 15Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.
16Do not be deceived, my beloved brothers. 17Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.[4] 18Of his own will he brought us forth by the word of truth, that we should be a kind of firstfruits of his creatures.

Very interesting day today.
.....................................................
One of my friend's ex-bf, called my name loud in Qaud and talked for a while; Then an hour later. When we(me and his ex) walked towards him, he pretended he didn't know us. Why people always hurts each other? I mean why he hurts her??? Does he feel happy by doing so? I don't think anyone will love him as much as her do in this world. I said this.
.....................................................
Ivy from my bible study group, told me the reason why she got baptised at the beginning of this year in tw.
Her mum actually told her story ....and let me to rephrase it now.
Allen just finished his HSC. After a long waiting, the UAI mark was out and he got his offer from UNSW. One day, while he was walking on the street he picked up a wallet and he sent it to the police office. The officer asked him to record down his name and information. Allen wrote down his name and school name which is UNSW.
The police officer finally found the owner of the wallet. The wallet was very important to the owner...He felt he had to thank A for his honesty. So he looked up Allen's detail....hummm ..UNSW.... so the owner contacted UNSW, and tried to find Allen. But Allen's name is nowhere in UNSW students' database. Because Allen hasn't enrolled yet !!!
Ok... the metaphor of this story is that baptism is like the enrollment. The certificate shows you are in God's kingdom.
hummm.. that's what I have heard from Ivy.... Just a new interpretation of why we should get baptised.
I thought I got baptised on a valentine day, but I wasn't in water.. am I really baptised?
......................................................
Scotty gave us a talk on "if God is love, why hell?"
I am afraid of fire and worms. I definitively don't want to go there. But do I remember this when I induldge in worldly happiness? I fear God, because He is rightous.
......................................................
Talked about worm/insects... Yang used her hand to pick a live cockroach and released it back to ground (lucky u,little qiang!) ..... yeeek...
but i felt guilty when I think back...we have no right to kill them.
3 ants are 3 lives.
......................................................
Henry said I look/talk/act exactly same as his friend in guangdong.. are we twins??
Need to find out.
......................................................
J.Wu got sued finally. I forebode that he will get himself out of the court case pretty soon.
But I really wish this fraud can get punished of what he did.
......................................................
Whale cannot speak English but loves warm Australian sea.
Tata is cruel, she loves fishing.
Whale says do not kill me, you can ride on me and I will show you the world.
Tata is cruel, love fishing is her nature.

Bought a new discman which can play mp3/mpeg.Therefore I can listen to hundreds songs without switching around cds.. that's so cool...it is time for retirement of my old MD player...
Am I in the wrong sequence? Most of people have cd-player earlier than md. But I have been using MD for 5 years but never owned a diskman...hummm...

You say: "I can't forgive myself"
God says: I Forgive you (I John 1:9 & Romans 8:1)

You say: "I'm afraid"
God says: I have not given you a spirit of fear
(II Timothy 1:7)

You say: "I'm always worried and frustrated"
God says: Cast all your cares on ME
(I Peter 5:7)

You say: "I don't have enough faith"
God says: I've given everyone a measure of faith
(Romans 12:3)

You say: "I'm not smart enough"
God says: I give you wisdom
(I Corinthians 1:30)

有没有听过冰块在热水中爆裂的声音？

有时候， 离奇的事乖张的人在真实生活中是不可能存在的。 如果我们把真实生活定义为所谓的物理时空的话。 超现实(surreal)的东西只有被画在画布上或被“第5代“导演拍成电影后才去承认它， 并将之归近艺术。但是为什么它们给我们如此大的震撼呢？ 那种不断膨胀的沙漠及空洞，干涸的压抑， 脚碰不到底的轻飘， 五光十色的炫澜你是否似曾相识？你认为这只是一种感觉， 就如刚喝完一杯度数不高的酒后的感觉， 你还在怀疑时这感觉已消失了。 所以， 你说， 它不曾存在过。
在我们这个时代成长的人，经历了很多。 我是指二十多年前被生在中国的那些人。 这一代人感觉没有什么东西是固定的，精神非常脆弱，追求着某些境界，有时连颓废也迷恋。 心灵很容易被伤害，破碎的程度自己都看不见。主流社会里根本没有他们的声音，偶尔会引来一些关注罢了。他们摇摆不定，没有人在乎他们的灵魂和肉体在
不在一起，反正他们自己也不在乎。
但是， 生活终归是生活，就像三色冰淇淋总是只有香草草莓与巧克力一样， 生活有它固定的模式；有些人一点一点每一种味道分开尝，有些人偏食（包括绝食），有些人故意混着一起吃。
然而，厂家知道，其实只有色素与香精的不同。

I always found encourgament when I listen to P. Jenson's tape. Again, it's God's words which make me realise my spiritual dryness.

Tata hasn't slept for last 42 hrs. Just trying to prove what she has babbled today. She indeed does not like sleep . She shows no sympathy to her non-stopping pumping heart. She wishes she could never need to rest. The implicit message is to alternate her sleep with her one third precious life time. If she sleeps, she will enter another world. This world is like a prototype of thousands discrete moment of the earthly world, sometime like the rubbish bin of the cut pieces of a film. Perplexing and ugly raw. Tata used to sleep with all lights on to avoid seeing those Satan like ghosts appear in her room. Poor girl...and she still fears. She knows she could call up Lord's name to defeat them, but will she have the "verbal ability" to call Him that time?

Lene Marlin - A Place Nearby

The distance between Kingsford and Parramatta has never been that far. I bursted into William's flat after an hour and half of travelling. Started raining outside. He was on the phone with his sister, then he passed the phone to me. His sister asked me why I didn't visit them while I was in shanghai. Scratchy feeling suddenly came out of from my back. I had a huge quarrel with mum due to the fact I didn't want to visit her on that particular night. (Visiting each relative and friend is compulsory during the spring festival no matter how unwilling I am). Stubborn me could still remember that mum almost had heart attack that time. Then I promised to myself, I would never ever does this kind of thing to mum. no excuse to argue with her at any time.
But this year , again i broke my promise once.
.............................................
Bought some chinese food which are very rarely seen in kingsford.
A kind of soy product and is made into thin slice... "bai ye"->"hundred pages" ?? hahah.. Then I tried to cook it with golden mushrooom. Nothing to add except salt. Cannot go out for the missing ingredients b'coz still raining. Aarghhh, I got a tube of Wasabi in the fridge. Brilliant!!!!!
...
10 mins later, you can see me drinking water with tears in my eyes..

Just came back from MBFri Seminar: The God That is Not. Tim spoke very clearly on why we shouldn't worship God as worship idols.
Acts 17:24"The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by hands. 25And he is not served by human hands, as if he needed anything, because he himself gives all men life and breath and everything else.
.......................
There arose a question after the talk: if God created everything, Didn't he create our mind/thought? If so, does He have 100% control of what we are thinking?
Again, if He can control everything, why He allowed us sin at the first place? <- back to the question I asked before.
Lots lots discussion on the way home with Sandra and Amanda...thinking is good for me :)